if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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