too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.