I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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