Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.