Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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