I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize