Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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