i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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