I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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