Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
