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Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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