Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
