Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
