there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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