seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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