i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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