so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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