you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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