so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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