I hate your face
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize