Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
