Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
