I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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