My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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