Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
