Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
