Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
