that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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