i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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