It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
