im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
