we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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