I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize