So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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