I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
