I'm gonna have a badass scar
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize