thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
