I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize