Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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