My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We talked him into tasing himself.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
