he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My vagina is officially offended.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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