so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
