I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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