you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
