omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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