Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
