Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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