Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How's work?
Spinning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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