I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
