Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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