stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
