I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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