i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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