I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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