I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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