The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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