actually, I'm a sock model
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
