...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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