He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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