I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
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