If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize