you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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