I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
