He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize