Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
