"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think my moral compass just broke
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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