I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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