just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You are a genius and a whore.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
