I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
