apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
